Managing the behavior of young children is an ongoing challenge for many parents and caregivers.  Positive Discipline without shaking, Shouting  or Spanking addresses these concerns and offers effective strategies for the best ways to manage aggressive behavior in young children. This  is an ongoing and important topic of discussion among parents and teachers. In a recent article Carolyn Tomlin also discusses  some of current theories and practices in managing aggressive behavior and offers her suggestions for best practices.

Developmental theorists generally concur that early experiences shape behavior, laying down neural paths in a child’s brain at a time of crucial development: when brain pathways can be created more quickly than at times later in life. This consensus makes it that much more important that early aggressive behavior be treated effectively.

A recent new approach to disciplining young children was developed by Seth Scholer, MD, MPH, Assistant Professor of Pediatrics at Vanderbilt University. Scholer’s program, called Play Nicely, is a CD ROM that teaches parents, counselors, child care providers, and health care professionals the basics of agression management for children ages 1 to 7. Through the training, participants learn that there are more effective responses than speaking angrily, physical punishment, or ignoring the aggression.

Dr. Scholer says, “early childhood aggression is one of the strongest predictors of violence later in life.” Scholer’s interest in managing aggression was influenced by a presentation by Dr. Richard Tremblay. After the lecture, Scholer realized that “we need tools to help teach caregivers why and how to manage aggression in the early years.”

Scholer believes that Play Nicely gives caretakers and parents insight into cognitive skills depicting social adjustment of children, teaching important lessons, including setting the rule that aggressive behavior is not allowed. The program also covers redirecting – that is, that children have other options instead of hurting, and promoting empathy by showing that others can be hurt by aggressive behavior.

Suggestions for Managing Aggressive Behavior

Caregivers need to know how to handle aggressive behavior in young children: what to do when a child hits? How to know when to encourage parents to seek professional help? Some strategies that will help parents and teachers are as follows:

Teach children not to be a victim of aggression. Encourage children to say to an aggressor, “That hurts,” followed by discussing with both children their feelings and how to resolve the conflict together. Set a firm rule that hitting will not be tolerated.

Decrease exposure to violence. Know what television shows children watch or what video games they play. Television time should be limited to two or fewer hours per day for children over age 2; no television for children under age 2 is best.

Show lots of love by giving individual attention, and play with children and be consistent with rules. Do not ignore a child’s rule-breaking, follow thorough with what you say or say nothing at all. Make sure parents and caregivers agree on the rules.

Some situations may warrant professional help, and warning signs of these situations may include frequent aggressive acts towards others, toward the self, or toward pets. Children who never follow directions or listen may need professional intervention, as may those who seem unattached. If the child does not return to his parent or caregiver in strange situations or frequently chooses violence on television or in video games, he may need professional assistance.

Founder and President of the High/Scope Educational Research Foundation Dr. David P. Weikart said that "When we accept that learning comes from within, we achieve a critical balance in educating children. The adult’s role is to support and guide children through their active learning adventures and experiences. Helping children to learn to help themselves is one of the most important ways adults can be of service to them.”

Certainly considering Scholer’s suggestions and striving to manage aggressive behavior in a positive way will help children to learn from within.