Parents and teachers of preschoolers may encounter a scenario in which a young child says, “I can’t do it,” or “Do it for me” when the child is faced with a task he is capable of doing. In a recent article, Sandra Crosser, Ph.D., an Associate Professor at Ohio Northern University, discusses the concept of learned helplessness and how adults should respond.

Children who depend on help and exhibit helplessness as a behavior pattern that continues over time may have learned to be helpless. While most preschoolers believe they can succeed because they want to, the phenomenon of learned helplessness has been observed in children as young as age four, and even in infants.

As with many childhood behaviors, how an adult reacts to learned helplessness can influence the child’s perception of his or her competence. Adults therefore must be aware of the appropriate ways to react.

How Should Adults Respond?

If a child succeeds at a task, adults should praise the ability of the child, not attributing the success to luck or hard work, but to ability. If the child does not succeed, the adult should emphasize that the child is capable, but just needs to try harder. If the adult focuses on the insufficient effort, then the child gets the message that he or she can change the outcome. This enables the child, whereas a focus on ability is interpreted as being out of the child’s control.

In the case of a child who has learned to be helpless, the child must change his or her thinking about what causes success or failure: that is, the child should be trained to associate lack of success with lack of effort.

If we assume the child is attempting tasks that are developmentally appropriate, teachers need to make comments that equate success with ability and failure with effort. For instance, if a child is not successful, the teacher may comment, “You almost did it. Try just a little harder.” Conversely, if a child is successful, the teacher may say, “You are very good at throwing a ball at the target,” focusing on the child’s ability.

The belief that one can master a task and have a sense of control over the outcome is important because learned helplessness persists over time, even in bright, talented children. If children have a sense that they can control the outcome of a situation, they are more likely to be persistent.

Teachers and caregivers can support the frustrated child who is exhibiting helplessness by focusing on the child’s abilities and encouraging him or her to make an effort to master tasks.